I was once a person who has the most explosive temper. I may not speak, I may not show interest but deep down inside, I might be scolding and cursing the sh*t out of you. (I don’t speak foul language by the way) And that only happen when I am being mistreated or misunderstood. I will usually defense myself. By defending myself, I mean I will not freaking let you go. In short, you pay for what you have done and I am not responsible for what will happen next. I will make your life a living hell.

But, don’t worry. That was a few years back.

Now, I am a completely different person. And NOPE, I don’t need another blog post from you. Your tone and choice of words definitely stabbed deep into my heart.  I was shocked that I did not get mad; instead I chose to forgive you. Forgive whatever you said. I completely did not thought of writing another revengeful post to start a post war with you. But I was really sad, wasn’t been able to sleep the whole night, figuring whether I should write a post to apologize to you. I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to provoke you. I didn’t even want to start a fight with you. I really am sorry. I sincerely apologize from you and it is up to you to choose whether to forgive me. Stay as strangers or upgrade another level to becoming friends, its up to you too. But I remembered you mentioning about your type of friends. However, I just want to sincerely apologize.

I’ve never apologized to anyone like this before. L Never, probably because I have the attitude of a cow; stubborn.

If this happens a few years back, I am sorry. I will not be so kind, apologizing to you. How mesmerizing huh? That people change over time. I used to defense myself and I kind of liked the smell of sweet revenge. I wasn’t so open-minded then. Well, guess I’ve learnt to be wiser and learnt how to forgive.

I am not a forgive and forget kind of person. Never. I keep things in my heart. Good or bad, I will remember it forever. Now that I grew older, I learn to let things go. For example, a real life example, it was hard for me to forgive someone and we nearly ended our relationship. I was lucky that the both of us decided not to let things go so easily. It was so hard for me to forgive that the incident keep replaying in my mind for almost a year and a half. Till now, it still sometimes haunts me, but I decided to laugh it away.

I was also overthinking and overreacting. Therefore, I made my life a complete living hell. Overthinking was the main reason I cried myself to bed most of the time. I felt insecure and negative thinking wouldn’t leave my mind as if it was glued to it. Now that I think about it, I felt stupid. I mean good or bad, we still have to continue our life. Then why not live happily. I kept this positive attitude up till now.

No, not at all talking about you. I must make this clear so I wont provoke you again. I really am sorry.

And to friends who decided to stay in my life during the darkest and lowest moments of my life, thank you. I never would have been a better person without any of you. As to those who decided to leave, thank you for letting me know who my true friends really are.

I just want to say that I AM NOW A WISER PERSON. I SHOULD START GROWING SOME BEARD! I don’t really care if any of you think I’m not. I used to really care about what others have to say about me. I care how other people looked at me. Now, it doesn’t really matter. J